May 16, 2012

一隻叫沮喪的黑狗

昨天有去廟裡拿隻簽,是先兇後吉...
也真的希望快點否吉泰好,可以順順地走下去...
只是,經過上周六這醬後,情緒總是起起伏伏的,時好時壞...
昨天二人也在談了一陣子,好像暫時又沒事了...
但是就有幾瞬間,會一直想到那些,又沉了下去...
這很恐怖的,回想起幾年前的自已,過得相當痛苦的自虐時期,
內心總想要有人可以求救,不要再沉了...
快讓我的腦子停下來,"停....停....停"

前天中午去PageOne翻到一本書,很touch my heart,"Living with a Black Dog: His Name Is Depression." (LIVING with the black dog is how Winston Churchill described the hellish bouts of depression that dogged his life and it's a phrase millions of people who suffer with the disease have since adopted)
這幾年下來,也算有點進步,沒有以前那樣嚴重,目前最常犯在PMS時,有時總會太懦弱,被黑影拉住,永遠都得學習跟"它"怎麻相處.....

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